There was a daring robbery last night at the Nelson Yacht Club, as a band of martial artists, dubbed Whakatu Kung Fu, lifted the prestigious Bell Trophy from the hands of Nelson West Rotary.
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The evening started well with the large crowd enjoying fellowship and friendship (and the bar). There were indications that this was no ordinary evening as mysterious guests mingled with the crowds. Lucifer, twirling an impressive cape and Father Rex from the church of RLI circulated through the crowd, with a giant tennis racquet swinging overhead.
Shivers went through the clubhouse when rumours circulated that the favourite for the evening’s event – Nelson Club – had been inadvertently nobbled, and when it was announced that volunteers were still required to take samples for the post-event drug testing.
While others (including your correspondent) were distracted by some wonderful offerings from Nahm, the Whakatu Kung Fu struck, and the Bell Trophy was gone in the blink of an eye.
An email received later, allegedly from the leader, said “When we saw the way the dice rolled we had to take our chance. We went straight for the bulls eye, picked up some sticks and fought our way through to take the trophy”.
The Chief Bellringer said “We tried to chase them down, but it felt like we were moving at a snail’s pace. ”
When asked about the heist, a distraught but resolute Nelson West President said “Fortunately our Chief Coin Counter guarded the the takings from the evening with his life so we didn’t lose everything, although it does feel like it.”
“We knew that vicious local criminal gangs where targeting our valuables, so we have two plans.
Firstly revenge will be ours, and as it is a dish best served cold, we also have Plan B.
We are going to replace the Bell Trophy with a new Award – something that the world will look upon with the awe that used to be bestowed upon the Bell Trophy before the dastardly events of this evening. It will be awarded to those who are best in their field, on a night of celebration like this was meant to be. Next time, in place of the Bell Trophy, I would like invite all attendees to gather at the same place for the soon-to-be-world-famous Nelson West No-Bell Prize“.
On a serous note, thanks to everyone for a really enjoyable evening, and for making the evening a success.
Roger Sanson (wearing his Nelson President’s hat last year) gets a special mention for challenging Nelson West and giving us the reason to get all the clubs together.
Thanks to Murray, Shelley and our fellowship team for making it happen, and we look forward to the next inter-club gathering soon.
RC of Nelson West